Step 2 says that I ‘could’ be restored to sanity by believing in a power greater than myself and this post by Dan Griffin sums it up for me. It never ceases to amaze me that I will always hear my experience shared by someone else in the recovery process, whether in a fellowship meeting or, now that I’m getting into this stuff, someone else’s blog post. For so many years I thought I was a lone ship, cast adrift and left to fend for myself. I discovered #AA and since then have ‘come to believe’ in a power greater than me, God. I have not only heard my experience of recovery, but most importantly heard my story of misery too. I am left with no doubt that I am not the only one. As a result of this unity I have been restored to sanity, soundness of mind and judgement.
To quote Dan’s post – “At first, they told me just find something – anything – greater than yourself. If I were to do that I could be restored to sanity. And I felt insane. I wanted to feel normal again. I wanted to have a life worth living. I wanted to live.” – When I was using, insanity was my way. I could not make healthy decisions, my reality was distorted and I believed the madness my head told me. Now I am #sober, it is only by applying my belief in God and continuously nurturing that relationship that I am restored to sanity. I have to make time for God as well as recovery. If I don’t, I quickly lose the connection, and start believing in my own stuff again. I start falling back to my insane thinking. I start believing that a fix is what I need. It isn’t, it never was.
So, just for today, I will say my prayers, be of service to others and believe in God and the miracles of recovery.