Today I feel taken for granted. Wrapped up in self pity because my needs and wants haven’t been recognized by someone I love. Resentful because it’s all about her, her problems, her career choices. What I’ve forgotten is that it all used to be about me! During my active alcoholism I didn’t have the capacity to be of any use to anyone else, so wrapped up in self. The ability to think of anyone elses needs escaped me. It is easy to slip back into the old thinking.
Recovery has taught me that there are others in my life, that my actions directly impact. When I let my first thought drive my reactions instead of pausing and thinking of others, I end up feeling angry and hurt. Negative emotion that will fester and cause me pain, and if left unchecked, those around me suffer too.
So, by writing it out here, I can see it for what it is. That by reflecting on my emotional state, I know that my needs are met by God, if I remember to let him in and help me today. A quick prayer and I feel connected again. Better able to get on with my day, not harboring resentment and with a knowing smile, that all will be ok.